


Future Management

by siempremadridistalalala



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mostly lots of fluff though, Mpreg, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, especially Roger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2019-12-18 15:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18253034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siempremadridistalalala/pseuds/siempremadridistalalala
Summary: 1991.Roger somehow ended up in the bathroom with three positive pregnancy tests lying in front of him. Torn between being happy and feeling scared, he decides to keep his worries to himself, with all its consequences.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in an alternate universe for two reasons:
> 
> 1\. I'm pretty sure Roger can't get pregnant in real life  
> 2\. I don't want Freddie to die
> 
> Other than that, please bear with me as I've never written Queen fanfiction before.  
> Also, since English isn't my native language, please do tell me if you see any grammatical errors.

Roger had been nauseous for several days and by now and he was pretty sure he had caught a bad case of the flu. Despite the almost constant urge to throw up and the lightheadedness, he insisted that it was no problem recording the music video for These Are The Days Of Our Lives. Freddie, who was in a physically worse state than him, was feeling good enough to film for now and the sooner they were done filming, the better.

So, Roger had decided to pretend that he was fine and get on with the video. For both his and Freddie’s sakes.

Eventually, it was John who noticed Roger’s struggle and called for a break. They’d deny it, but god knows, both the singer and the drummer needed one. While Freddie found a place to sit down for a minute, John made his way over to Roger, facial expression screaming ‘concern’.

“Are you alright?” He asked the blonde, although they both knew the answer already. Roger merely shrugged. He wasn’t doing great. He’d been feeling sick for almost a week, just when Brian had gone abroad on a promotional tour, which meant that Roger was at home alone with the kids (the oldest of whom, thankfully, were at an age where they were perfectly capable of keeping an eye on the younger ones for a few hours). Despite feeling ill and quite dizzy, he hadn’t collapsed yet, nor had he had any stress attacks, so that should be counted as a win, right?

“Roger.” John said sternly, raising an eyebrow at him. These looks usually meant that there was no way of getting out of the conversation. John could be annoyingly convincing when he wanted to. Roger sighed, giving in.

“I’ve been feeling like utter shit all week.” He admitted. John just stared at him and nodded as a sign that he expected Roger to continue, so he did. “I’ve been nauseous pretty much every day and Nova has had to cook the past three days, because I was too exhausted to do so.”

He had felt quite guilty about it, especially the first time. He had fallen asleep on the couch somewhere in the afternoon, only to be woken up by his daughter several hours later, when dinner was ready. Apparently, he had slept through all his kids’ complaints about being hungry. Nova’s cooking skills, which she had definitely gotten from Brian, had been a real godsend.

“Have you seen a doctor yet?” John asked, looking sympathetic. Roger shook his head. He had considered going to a doctor, but his symptoms were clearly those of the flu and the flu had never lasted more than a week for him.

“Just the flu, I’ll be fine in a couple of days.” He tried to assure John, but the younger man didn’t seem to believe him. He laid his hand on Roger's shoulder and gave him that same stern look again. “You’ve never been sick for more than three days. I really think you should go see a doctor, even if only to rule anything else out.”

John handed Roger one of the water bottles he’d seen the blonde eye for the past minute or so. Roger took it, but John refused to fully let go of the object until Roger agreed he’d go see a doctor. Realizing this, Roger sighed again and nodded. “Alright.”

John let go of the bottle and Roger wasted no time, gulping half of the content down. On top of the nausea and exhaustion, he’d also had a dry mouth, courtesy of not having had enough to drink the past few days (since whatever went in, also came out apparently). Fingers crossed that it wouldn’t happen again before they were done filming.

“Is the tea party over? Can we get back to work?” Roger and John heard Freddie’s voice behind them. The singer, like Roger, wanted to be done as soon as possible. The other two nodded and got back into place, getting their instruments ready before the camera started rolling again.

* * *

On his way home, a little later than he had expected, Roger thought about how John had insisted he’d go and see a doctor. He didn’t deem it necessary, but if he’d reassure John by going, who was he to refuse?

Arriving at his and Brian’s place, he could hear music coming from inside the house. _‘Must be another cooking-karaoke session’_ , he thought, grinning to himself. And indeed, as soon as he stepped inside, he was met by the voices of his kids coming from the kitchen, where they were singing along to Walking On Sunshine.

That, and the smell of pancakes.

It was a miracle that he made it to the bathroom without knocking anything over or bumping into anything. He’d reached the toilet just in time, before throwing up the little food he had eaten that day, followed by the sour taste of bile. Maybe John was right, he had to see a doctor after all.

“Papa?” He heard a soft voice behind him. Turning around, he was met with the face of his and Brian’s youngest child, Phoenix. The boy wore a worried look on his face as he looked at his father, who was still half slumped over the toilet. Roger managed to produce a smile, clearing his now sore throat before speaking up. “Hey buddy.”

“Are you okay?” The boy asked, concerned. Roger really wasn’t but didn’t want the boy to worry about him. “Shouldn’t have eaten Uncle Freddie’s self-made pie.” He joked with a smile. It seemed to work, as a smile also broke out on his son’s face.

After standing up, which cost him more effort than he thought it would have, he flushed the toilet and bend down slightly towards his son. “Don’t tell him I said that, it’s our little secret, okay?” He held his finger over his lips to emphasize and the boy did the same, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

“Come, let’s go see if they have some pancakes ready for you.” Phoenix enthusiastically skipped away in the direction of the kitchen. Swallowing and trying to mentally prepare himself for an even stronger scent of pancakes, Roger followed him.

“Papa’s back!” The ten-year-old announced full of glee. The other kids, who were deeply engaged in a rather intense game of scrabble (which they were all obsessed with, thanks to their uncle Freddie), greeted him but didn’t bother looking up.

The only one to actually pay attention to him, besides Phoenix, was his oldest child, Nova. As soon as he stepped into the kitchen, she came up to him and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, a tradition that had started as a joke when she was about 10 years old when Roger, triggered by pregnancy hormones, had started crying about how she didn’t love him anymore and that she always used to kiss him hello and goodbye when she was a toddler. Much to Roger’s joy, she never stopped after that.

“How are you?” She asked, her voice uplifting and happy. Before Roger could even answer, a plate was pushed into his hands. “Pancake?”

“I’m not really hungry, sorry.” Roger half-lied. The last few days it felt like he was the child instead of the parent. He slept at noon and dinner was being made for him (which might be a good thing after all, since Brian usually cooked and Roger couldn’t do much more than heating things up or cooking pasta).

His daughter raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Never had she thought she would live to see a day that this one of her fathers wouldn’t be hungry. Brian, when focused on writing a song or face buried in an astrophysics book, skipped dinner sometimes, but Roger had never done such a thing. “Papa, you’re never not hungry.”

“Just not feeling well, is all. Don’t think I could keep it in.” He shrugged, knowing that the last part would be enough for her not to force him. He put the plate back on the kitchen counter, as the scrabble board was still occupying the table.

“You should see a doctor.” Nova insisted, touching his forehead with the back of her hand to check if he had a fever. Once again, Roger felt like the child in this situation. So many times had he been the one checking if his kids were sick. Sometimes it made him a little sad that the older they got, the less they needed him.

“You too? John already tried to convince me to go.” Roger huffed. He was an adult, perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He definitely didn’t need other people to tell him what to do and what’s good for him.

“He’s just worried about you and so am I, you look really pale. Should I call dad?”

“No, don’t, it’s just the flu. If you call your dad, he’ll get all worked up and worried for nothing.” Roger could almost hear Brian already, telling him he was coming home straight away, which wasn’t necessary. Why fly over an ocean just because your partner is feeling a little nauseous?

“Just go lie down for a minute, yeah?” Nova told him with a stern look on her face, which he was pretty sure she had copied from John.

“Yes, mom.” he said in a mocking tone, though it went paired with a grin. She swatted his arm before making a hand gesture towards the living room.

As he laid down on the couch, he could hear yelling from the kitchen, followed by his daughter’s calm voice.

“But I was winning!”

“You can continue after dinner.”

“No, we can’t. It’s all messed up now!”

“Then you can start over again.”

“No, you ruined it!”

“Come on, don’t be such a baby.”

_Shit._

* * *

Although he had promised that he would make an appointment at the doctor’s office, Roger decided to drive to a pharmacy instead. He deliberately chose one he’d never been to before, in a neighborhood inhabited mostly by the elderly, which made the chance of getting recognized significantly smaller.

He had parked the car on a spot right in front of the store, where he was pretty sure he wasn’t allowed to park, but he wouldn’t be long anyway. He grabbed his sunglasses from where they were lying on the passenger’s seat and sighed. He really didn’t want to go in, but it still seemed like a better option than seeing a doctor at the moment.

“Fuck it.” He mumbled, opening the car door and getting out. The sooner he’d get what he needed, the sooner he would be home again.

As he stepped foot into the shop, he was greeted the friendly older woman at the counter. He nodded at her, but walked straight towards his goal without saying anything. He wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible. He grabbed three tests, just to be sure, and laid them down on the counter.

While checking his pocket for his wallet, the woman spoke up, proving Roger’s theory about elderly people not knowing who he was wrong.

“You have such beautiful kids, Sir. You must be overjoyed to be having another.” She said. It was obviously meant as a compliment, but it was really none of her business. So much for trying not to get recognized. Roger tried to fake a smile as he paid, telling the lady she could keep the change and ran out.

By the time he reached his car, his hands were shaking, making it difficult to get the key in. Never had he been this anxious to go to a pharmacy before. It had been far from the first time he had went to pick up pregnancy tests, he had done so with each of his children. The last time, however, had been over ten years ago, which made this feel like it was the first time all over again.

Roger breathed in and out a few times to calm himself down and waited for his heartbeat to steady a bit. As soon as he was in a state calm enough to drive, he took off. It took him all of his impulse control not to hit the gas and end up with a speeding ticket.

As soon as he got home, he beelined for the bathroom, almost tripping over some toy cars that were lingering around in the hall. He recognized them as being his own from when he was younger, but he had given them to his kids to play with a few years ago. He smiled at the thought but that smile was quickly gotten rid off when he remembered where he was heading and, most importantly, why.

He made his way further down the hall and up the stairs, to the larger bathroom. Locking the door behind him. It was a good thing he’d been postponing a toilet visit all morning, since having to wait any longer to see how much his life would change would be torture. Still, Roger hesitated before opening the boxes. Taking into account all of his symptoms, the chances of him being pregnant were very high. But to take a test and have the little stick confirm it…

Deciding that sooner or later he’d find out anyway, since if he was pregnant, he’d start showing at some point, he settled for sooner. With shaking fingers, he opened the first box, taking the test out and reading the instructions. The same went for the other tests.

After relieving his bladder of all the pressure and with that, starting the waiting process that seemed to last an eternity but was in fact just a few minutes long, Roger practically slammed the tests down on the sink, still careful enough not to break them. God knows he wouldn’t want to walk that walk of shame through the pharmacy again.

The four minutes that it took for the test to show a result, seemed like an eternity. As he was waiting, Roger started thinking about what it would be like to have another baby. Brian and he had never really talked about when they would stop having kids, but it had been over a decade since their youngest was born and Brian had never expressed the wish to have another child after that.

As he had gotten a bit lost in his head due to all the possible scenarios he could come up with (ranging from Brian abandoning him and the kids, which was highly unlikely, to Brian literally jumping around in joy) he didn’t notice the results had appeared on the small stick.

After a while he finally dared to look down and the two tests.

The first one showed a plus. Positive.

The second one showed a single colored line. Positive.

The third one also showed a plus. Positive.

He really was pregnant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're thinking 'hey, this plot looks familiar' then you've most likely seen it on bohemian-rhapsody-slash's Tumblr (the headcanon came from me but I send it on anon).
> 
> Come and find me at my own Queen sideblog actuallywembleydoesnthavearoof and feel free to send me writing prompts and headcanons. I could use every single bit of help in procrastinating that I can get.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian comes home and proves he's a lot smarter than Roger took him for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually something I intended to update every week, but due to a hellish paper that's due next Sunday, I can't say when the next chapter will come. After Sunday, however, I will (hopefully) be updating regularly.

Two weeks later, the day Brian would come home, Roger was glad to have woken up without a headache for the first time in what seemed like forever. He still hadn’t slept well, but that wasn’t uncommon when Brian was gone. Roger had gotten so used to sleeping with the other man next to him that he spent nights without him tossing and turning until dawn. This time it had been even worse, since he had had no more than two hours of sleep, due to not being able to stop thinking about how to break the news to Brian.

It wasn’t so much that Roger was scared Brian wouldn’t want another baby, Brian loved kids after all and they’d always joked about going for a complete football team. He was worried about dozens of other things, the most important being the baby’s health. He knew that the older a pregnant person was, the riskier a pregnancy became. Although he wasn’t exactly old yet, he wasn’t as fit as he had been when he carried his other kids and he was sure Brian would realize that too.

The slamming of a door made Roger jump out of his thoughts. Even being as tired as he was, he almost jumped out of bed to hurry downstairs, still in pajamas. It was barely noon, so it was too early for any of his kids to be coming home from school, which meant that it had to be Brian.

The sight of his boyfriend standing in the hall made Roger smile. The brunette looked absolutely exhausted, courtesy of a jetlag. Brian barely had any time to put his bags down before Roger had his arms wrapped around the taller man’s torso in a hug.

“You’re happy to see me.” Brian teased with a chuckle, as Roger’s nose nuzzled against his neck. The blonde hummed softly when Brian hugged him back. Being in the same band and having a family together usually resulted in them not being away from each other for longer periods of time. This wasn’t nearly the longest they had gone without each other, but they couldn’t help having missed the other a great deal.

After a few minutes of hugging, Brian let go of Roger only to pull him in for a kiss, which the other man gladly returned. When they pulled apart, a series of soft pecks followed.

“You look exhausted, love.” Brian noted, taking in the sight of his lover. He still looked as amazing as he always did, but there were clear bags under his eyes and his hair was a little greasy. This was quite remarkable, given the fact that Roger usually showered very often, which Brian didn’t mind one bit as long as he was allowed to join him (which always ends up with them getting a little carried away).

Roger snorted in response. “I could say the same about you.” He shot back, folding his arms in front of his chest in feigned annoyance. He had reason enough to feel exhausted, but he didn’t want to bother Brian with it yet, as the other had just returned after all the promotion work abroad and a way too long flight. Brian didn’t need worried Roger, he needed fun Roger (or so the blonde thought).

“Fair point.” The brunette grinned, though he suspected there was something Roger wasn’t telling him, whatever it may have been.

Brian didn’t get the chance to ask him about it though as Roger grabbed his hand and led him to the living room, where he pushed him down on the sofa. He quickly got on top of his boyfriend, straddling him. Though Brian was very tired, he still seemed to be in the mood, if what Roger was feeling beneath him was any indication. Roger wiggled his butt and giggled cheekily when he saw the look on his boyfriend’s face. The latter grabbed Roger’s hips to still the younger man, before kissing him hungrily. It didn’t take long before the make out session turned into a dry hump session.

“We haven’t done it here in quite a while.” Roger moaned, closing his eyes when Brian started sucking his neck. It would almost certainly result in a hickey, which he knew the kids weren’t going to be very thrilled about, since it was in a very visible place. At the moment, however, he couldn't bring himself to care

“We should change that then.”

As they attempted to get further into it, Brian noticed Roger’s eyes going a little droopy, as if he was forcing himself to stay awake, which he was. Despite seeming to be perpetually tired, he still had trouble sleeping. Not wanting Roger to feel like he had to do this, Brian put his hand on the blonde’s shoulders to gently push him back a little. Roger, eyes now very droopy, gave him a confused look.

“Why don’t we take a nap?” Brian proposed, which Roger first protested against, but Brian was having none of it. Eventually Roger gave in, fighting back a yawn. He was leaned forward, resting his head against Brian’s chest, which made it difficult for the other man to settle himself and his boyfriend on the couch comfortably. He decided to just pick Roger up as if he were carrying him bridal style. After laying him down on the couch, he made himself comfortable behind Roger in a spooning position.

Out of habit, Brian sneaked a hand around Roger’s middle, settling on his stomach. Roger shifted uncomfortably against Brian’s warm hand and made a sound of protest. “I ate way too much, I feel bloated.” He complained.

Brian raised a brow. “You came right out of bed, I doubt you ate anything.”  

“I’m getting fat.” Roger then blurted out, without thinking. This earned him a gentle shove against the shoulder from Brian, who clearly disagreed. “None of that, you’re not!”

“I don’t exactly look like I did when we met, do I?” Roger complained.

“We met over 20 years ago, Rog. It makes sense for your body to change.” Brian reasoned. Roger knew that that was all there was to it. However, ever since he found out he was pregnant, he had become very nostalgic and had started looking through old photo books again. He couldn’t help but notice how much thinner he had been back then and how his shape had been much more defined. Even though he wasn’t very prone to being self-conscious, he couldn’t help but realize he had gained some weight since the 70s and early 80s.

“You still look exactly the same.”

Brian shook his head with a chuckle. “I don’t, haven’t you seen my wrinkles?”

“Must be the hair then. Makes it look like you’re still 25.” Roger shrugged, making both of them grin. It was followed by a few minutes of silence, Brian’s hand still in the same place. Roger had relaxed a little by now, leaning back against his boyfriend, though it didn’t last very long.

“Rog… Are you pregnant?” Brian asked, thumb softly stroking Roger’s stomach, where he could feel a slight swell that he hadn’t noticed before he left. It was more of a rhetorical question than one he’d need an answer to. He remembered them lying in their bed and on this very couch together like this, with him spooning Roger while caressing his belly, as if it were yesterday. It had been over ten years since he had last felt it but the feeling was still the same.

He felt Roger stiffen in his arms. He moved around a little in discomfort, hoping Brian would get the hint, but the curly-haired man didn’t budge. Roger knew that it was no use denying it anymore now. Sooner or later, he would start showing and Brian would inevitably notice, just like everyone else. It was probably for the best to just admit it now.

“Yes.” The blonde whispered. His voice sounded a lot softer than it usually did, scared almost, but Brian just assumed that Roger was somewhat overwhelmed. They hadn’t been trying for a baby, nor had they discussed the possibility of having another one at any point during the last ten years. To suddenly be surprised with a pregnancy might just have been a bit of a shock for Roger.

“That’s amazing!” Brian beamed, searching for one of Roger’s hands, grabbing around without really looking as he couldn’t keep his eyes off of his boyfriend, while excitedly kissing his neck. He squeezed it as soon as found it, expecting Roger to squeeze back. Roger didn’t answer. He didn’t even move, which surprised Brian. “Right?”

“Yeah, I just-“, Roger cut himself off, not really sure what he was supposed to say as he still didn’t want to bother Brian with his worried thoughts and instead settling for a half-truth. “I’m just surprised, I guess. I didn’t expect it to happen again, I mean, our oldest child could be having children of her own.”

“She better not.” Brian said in a voice so low, he might as well have been growling. Roger grinned; that was Brian’s protective father-mode being switched on.

“When we had her, I was younger than she is now.” He said, turning his head a little to look at Brian who looked so radiant and happy that it might as well have been him that was pregnant. “Fair point.”

Another silence followed, this one shorter and a lot more comfortable than the first. Then Roger spoke up, a question having been on his mind during the last few minutes.

“How did you know?” The blonde asked, still a little surprised that Brian had managed to notice it out of nowhere. He’d been home for less than two hours and noticed the change, meanwhile Roger, who was the one actually carrying this baby, only realized when his daughter had made a comment towards the other kids and it suddenly all seemed to click.

“I can feel it.”

“But there’s nothing there.”

“There is.” The guitarist took Roger’s hand and led it to the younger man’s stomach. He pulled his shirt up a little so Roger could get a better feel. When he actually laid his hand on his bare stomach and rubbed it softly, he realized what Brian had meant. There was a small swell there. It wasn’t obvious, but it was indeed there.

Brian seemed to sense Roger’s distress about the fact he had noticed right away and Roger hadn’t. Not that he could have, he had mainly worn Brian’s sweatshirts, that were too big for him, as they had the familiar smell of the taller men to them. “I know every inch of your body, love.” Brian whispered in his ear before kissing his neck.

Despite all of his worries, Roger couldn’t help but smile at the thought of having another baby with Brian. The other man’s excitement was truly contagious. For the first time since he found out he was pregnant, Roger allowed himself to think of seeing their baby rolling over for the first time, witnessing them crawling around the living room and watching them learn to stand up and walk. He’d been sad when a few years ago he had realized that Phoenix was probably the last child of his that he’d seen reaching all these milestones and he wished he had doted on him a little more, appreciating every milestone a bit more. He was so lucky to be given another chance of that with this baby.

Roger moved his hand to cover Brian’s, which, too, was still resting on his tummy and closed his eyes. The nap ended up being better than all the sleepless nights since the day he had taken the tests combined.

* * *

Hours later, Brian and Roger were woken up by the sound of the front door slamming shut. With a quick glance at the clock on the wall, he realized his oldest kids were already out of school and would be coming home one by one.

“How adorable.” James, their oldest son, fake cooed when he saw his dads lying on the couch. He threw his bag on the floor and let himself fall backwards on the other couch, watching with and amused expression as Roger and Brian tried to make themselves look a little less like they had just woken up (even though that was the case).

As Roger fled upstairs to change out of his pajamas and into normal clothes, Brian hugged his son, who, although he first tried to deny it, admitted that yes, he had missed him too.

“Did he break anything while I was gone?” Brian asked. It was ironic really, asking your kids whether their father has broken anything rather than the other way around. However, it was a very well-known fact that Roger had quite a temper and tantrums weren’t exactly uncommon for him.

James shrugged. “A few plates and a mug. We managed to save the coffee machine.” What he didn’t add was that he had to physically restrain Roger from throwing the coffee machine either on the floor or out of the window.

“Gossiping about me?” Roger asked, as he returned to the living room, teasingly resting his hand on his jutted-out hip, giving off the vibe of an annoyed schoolgirl.

“He was just telling me about how much you missed me.” Brian winked at his son, holding out his arms for Roger, who was coming in for an embrace. The blonde let out a snort and denied it, although they both know it was true.

* * *

“You look happier than I’ve seen you all week.” Roger was caught a bit off-guard by the comment. They were having dinner (or well, they had bought a bunch of pizzas at a pizzeria nearby) and for the first time in a while he felt like he’d actually be able to hold it down.

“Flu’s finally gone.” He lied with a fake smile plaster on his face. It seemed to be a satisfying answer for everyone, with the exception of Brian. The older man just frowned and made a mental note to ask his boyfriend about it later.

When half an hour later, the kids were sat in front of the tv watching some cartoon, Brian saw his chance to pull Roger aside. Roger was standing at the sink, rinsing some plates, as Brian leant against the counter next to him.

“You don’t seem very excited about it.” He mused, tilting his head to the right a little. Roger didn’t look up from the plate he was holding.

“I’m just overwhelmed. It’s been ten years since I last did all of this, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know. I was there. You threatened to bite my dick off if it ever came anywhere near you again.”

“Did I really say that? Kinky.” Roger grinned, not being able to remember but still very obviously amused that he had apparently said that. It took a few seconds before he got serious again.

 “I don’t want to tell anyone until the first trimester is over, is that okay?” He asked. Even if he had worries that concerned more than just the first trimester, he’d be relieved as soon as it was over and his baby would hopefully have made it through the most crucial phase.

Brian nodded and smiled reassuringly. “Of course. It’ll be alright.” He hugged him tightly, softly kissing his hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes, simply enjoying the other’s warmth and comfort.

As they pulled apart, there was a cheeky grin on Roger’s face. “Alright, now if I promise I won’t bite it off…” The blonde smirked as he tried to sink down to his knees, but he was pulled back up by his blushing boyfriend.

“We can’t do this here, our kids are in the living room.” He whispered. It had been ages since the last time they had been walked in on by one of their kids, who, thank god, had been to young to understand what their parents were doing at the that time, but he wasn’t taking the risk of it happening again. Roger clearly had other plans.

“We must be quick then.” He tried to say as innocently as possible and quickly lowered himself until he was kneeling in front of the taller man. As he undid the fly of Brian’s pants, he looked up through thick eyelashes to see the other man gazing down at him, not attempting to protest anymore.

He smirked proudly as he turned his attention back to the zipper of Brian’s pants.

Brian knew full well they shouldn’t be doing this here. Someone could walk in at any time and he did not feel like mentally scarring any of their kids. However, all of this was suddenly forgotten when he felt Roger’s mouth around him. He could do nothing but close his eyes and focus on how good it felt. After having been apart for a few weeks, they deserved to enjoy this little moment between them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To make everything a bit clearer (hopefully), I decided to make a little list of Maylor's kids, including names, middle names and birth years.
> 
> Alright, so there's Nova Avalon (1970), James Alistair (1972), Charlie Dominik (1974), Alexis Eliott (1975), Benjamin Morgan (1976), Gabriel Orion (1978) and Phoenix Lennon (1981). As I've kind of mentioned in the story, Nova is their only daughter. And yes, in this story they really do have seven kids, because why the hell not?
> 
> Lastly, please feel free to leave a review, I can always use some constructive criticism or ideas and of course positive points are also greatly appreciated. And if it's easier to write a review in your native language, please don't hesitate to do that either!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger refuses to see an obstetrician but Brian, being the responsible boyfriend that he is, manages to change his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regular updates? What does that even mean?
> 
> Honestly, I don't have a valid reason for totally ignoring my claim of 'updating every week'. But God, do I hope it won't take this long anymore from now on.

“No, I’m not going there!” Roger yelled, slamming the door of their bedroom shut with such a force that the toiletries in the nearby bathroom were shaking slightly. For the past two days Brian had been trying to convince Roger to make an appointment for a visit with an obstetrician, but the blonde had straight-up refused every single time Brian mentioned it.

Brian sighed. He was completely clueless as to why Roger was refusing to go see an obstetrician. During his previous pregnancies, he had never really had a problem going to the check-ups, yet when Brian had mentioned to Roger that they really had to see one, his boyfriend had thrown a book at him.

By now he knew the blonde well enough to realize that when he stormed off as dramatically as he just did, it meant he wanted Brian to follow and most likely comfort him. So that’s what he did.

Roger was lying on his side on the bed, facing the wall. He glanced at Brian for a second as the older man opened the door, but quickly looked away when their eyes met, pretending he didn’t care for Brian’s presence. This was also something he had done countless times before. He wasn’t actually mad, but he wanted Brian to make an effort to make it up to him.

Brian laid down behind Roger, still keeping some distance. His eyes trailed to the ceiling where Freddie had painted their kids’ zodiac sign constellations. He remembered it as if it were yesterday. It had been the second day after they had brought Phoenix home and Freddie had just suddenly barged in unannounced, waking the baby in the process, which Brian had scolded him for afterwards. He’d been holding two buckets of what Brian would later realize was paint and had walked straight to his and Roger’s bedroom, barricading the door. An hour or two later he’d simply walked out, telling them he did what needed to be done in their bedroom. Fearing the worst when hearing these words, Brian and Roger had quickly made their way upstairs and, upon seeing what Freddie had done, vowed to give their friend some bone-crushing hugs and thank you’s the next time they saw him, grateful for their friend’s thoughtful impulsivity.

It made Brian sad knowing that there would most likely not be an eighth constellation, although his sadness over it had little to do with the painting itself, but rather with the fact that his friend’s physical state was getting worse. Over the course of the last few weeks, Freddie had become a lot weaker. Brian feared that if it got any worse, Freddie might not even get to meet their baby anymore.

Noticing that Brian was looking at the constellations on the ceiling, similar thoughts ran through Roger’s head. Deciding that he preferred being comforted by his boyfriend to remaining stubborn, he turned around and buried his face in the crook of Brian’s neck, sighing contently at the comfortable feeling.

Brian pulled Roger further into his side, rubbing his arm in comfort. As Roger didn’t say a word and just generally didn’t make any sound at all, Brian decided to speak up first. “Why don’t you want to go?” He asked carefully.

“It’s stupid.” Roger murmured into the brunette’s skin with a slight shrug. Brian gently pushed him away a little to be able to look at him properly. “Unless you’re worried that there’s suddenly going to be a huge sinkhole forming under the clinic, you’re not.”

The blonde looked away from Brian. It was clear that he was a bit uncomfortable, but Brian needed to know what was bothering the other man so he could either solve it or offer him some comfort.

Roger swallowed a couple of times before looking back at Brian with those blue eyes his boyfriend loved so much. When he eventually spoke up, his voice was barely a whisper. “I’m old. They’ll judge me.”

Brian smiled, glad that this was something he could reassure him about. “No, they won’t. It’s their profession, Rog. Do you seriously think they’ve never had pregnant people older than 40 before?”

“You’re not even denying that I’m old?” Roger huffed, shrugging Brian’s arm off and sitting up, He crossed his arms in annoyance. “And don’t say it out loud, it makes it sound worse.”

“What? That you’re over 40?” Brian challenged. He knew it would push Roger’s buttons, but in a good way. He was happy to see that his playful comment was indeed met with a smile on the other’s face. “Shut up! I have the spirit of 20-year old.”

Brian snorted. “More that of a horny teenager.”

“Haven’t heard you complain about that before.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning himself a light shove from Brian. “You’re insufferable.”

They both knew he didn’t mean it, but Brian still decided to plant a kiss on Roger’s hair as an apology anyway, before lying back down. The next few minutes they didn’t speak. They didn't need to, they just laid in each other’s arms, with Brian’s right hand softly stroking Roger’s hair, and enjoyed each other’s presence.

“How about we call them and ask for Doctor Clarke specifically? She definitely won’t judge you.” Brian proposed after a while. They knew Doctor Clarke pretty well by now, as she had delivered all of their other kids. Maybe that would reassure Roger.

Brian knew he had made a good move when he felt Roger nod slowly against his chest. The blonde gave a soft hum of approval and slung his arm around the other man, getting a little bit more comfortable.

“Let me make you feel good.” Brian whispered in Roger’s ear which was followed by another approving sound. He whined a little though when Brian managed to shuffle his way out of Roger’s embrace. What was he supposed to do when he couldn’t lay his head on Brian’s chest, use an actual pillow?

Roger was about to sit up when he was stopped and gently pushed down so that he was lying on his back, Brian hovering over him. Roger leant up a little to claim a kiss from Brian, which the older man of course happily answered. The kiss was soft and slow, despite Roger's attempts to intensify it. He could blame the hormones for turning him on, but that would be a blatant lie as just the mere sight of the guitarist above him could still get him hot and bothered, even after all those years.

“It’s my turn to take care of you now.” Brian whispered against Roger’s lips, his voice so low it almost made Roger shiver, before kissing him again. It didn’t take long before Brian’s mouth moved from the blonde’s mouth to his jaw. Brian gently trailed his lips even further down in the direction of Roger’s Adam’s apple, where he left some marks that would definitely still be there the next day.

Roger got impatient with Brian’s slow pace, but he didn’t get the chance to protest, as Brian’s strong hands (God, how Roger loved those hands) were holding him down. A desperate whimper left his mouth as Brian’s fingers made contact with his bare skin. It barely sounded sexual, but it still prompted Brian to grin.

“You’re so impatient.” He said, shaking his head in amusement. Roger tried to make it look like he was angry at him, but it ended up being more of a pouty expression than a frown. He just really wanted Brian to continue. “Please.”

When he felt Brian’s hands finally unbuckling his belt, he closed his eyes and with a content smile he let himself relax and enjoy it.

* * *

The next Monday, Roger and Brian found themselves in the waiting room of the hospital’s gynecology department for Roger’s first appointment. Only two other people were sat in the waiting room and both seemed to be occupied, much to Roger’s relief.

Although Roger had agreed that he would go to a doctor, Brian knew his boyfriend wouldn’t make the call himself. So, much to Roger’s annoyance, Brian had gone behind his back to make an appointment with Dr. Clarke. Count on Brian to make an appointment early on Monday morning. Despite being grumpy because he had to get up so early, Roger had to admit that Brian had been smart to make an appointment at a moment when all the kids were out of the house. That was another thing Roger worried about, how would the kids, especially the older ones, react to finding out they’d be having another sibling?

The younger man’s foot was impatiently tapping on the floor of the otherwise silent room, much to his boyfriend’s annoyance. “If you don’t stop that, I will sit on your lap.” Brian groaned annoyedly. He was very close to actually standing up and sitting down on Roger’s lap so the blonde wouldn’t be able to move his legs anymore. He understood that the other man was nervous but the constant sound of tapping was starting to make him nervous too.

“And you think I would have a problem with that?” Roger smirked, making Brian roll his eyes and quickly take a peek at the other people in the waiting room to see if they had heard it, which they luckily hadn’t. He wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or impressed by his husband’s courage and tendency to make inappropriate comments in public. That man truly had no shame.

“Why do you always try to make everything seem sexual?” Brian asked only half-annoyed, since Roger had at least stopped tapping his foot and seemed to be a little more relaxed than he did a minute ago.

Roger simply shrugged. “It’s part of my charm.”

Brian was about to make a sarcastic comment when he saw Dr. Clarke coming their way. She gestured for them to come with her. Roger visibly tensed as he followed her, though he felt slightly more at ease with Brian’s comforting hand resting on the small of his back.

“I didn’t expect to see the two of you here again.” Dr. Clarke said with a broad smile forming on her face. After the two had been ‘regulars’ at the clinic for almost ten years straight, she hadn’t expected them to come back, especially not now that nearly a decade had passed.

“Neither did we.” Roger admitted with a light chuckle as he felt Brian squeeze his hand. He looked to his side where his boyfriend was walking, absolutely beaming with pride and glee, just like he had been when Roger admitted that yes, he was pregnant. Seeing Brian this happy brought Roger some feelings of happiness too, but the former biology student in him couldn’t stop thinking about the increased risks that there were now compared to his earlier pregnancies, whereas his boyfriend just seemed to be the embodiment of excitement.

“Well, it’s great to have you back.” Dr. Clarke gestured at them to go into the room she had just appeared from. In the room were the oh so familiar examination table and a monitor. This one looked more advanced and a lot fancier than the one she used to have back in the seventies.

“I assume you remember how this works?” Dr. Clarke asked. Roger nodded as he hopped to sit on the table, before laying down on his back and lifting his shirt. Brian sat down in the chair on the other side, grabbing Roger’s hand and intertwining their fingers, earning himself a smile from his boyfriend.

“Do you happen to know how far along you could be?” Dr. Clarke asked, while busying herself with the equipment she’d be using. Roger knew he shouldn’t bother trying to think of when he could have conceived, given the fact that he and Brian had sex quite regularly. There wasn’t one specific occasion he could lead it back to.

“Not a clue, we have a very active sex life, you see.”

Brian’s face turned a beautiful shade of pink when the words left the blonde’s mouth. He gave his hand extra hard squeeze to let him know this wasn’t really something he’d like to share with other people.

Roger, however, didn’t seem bothered at all and kept grinning like a Cheshire cat until Dr. Clarke squirted some ultrasound gel on his bare stomach. He hissed when he felt the cold liquid hit his skin.

It didn’t take very long before Dr. Clarke stopped moving the transducer and an image was visible on the screen. The baby was admittedly bigger than Roger had expected, as he hadn't expected much more than a little dot, but maybe that was a good sign, as it meant the baby was growing well.

He turned to look at Brian who looked just as in awe as ever. Roger would never be able to get enough of this particular facial expression of Brian’s. Dr. Clarke started explaining something but Roger couldn’t really pay attention, he was too focused on looking from his boyfriend to his baby and back to his boyfriend. The end of one certain sentence, however, he did catch. “…-developing very well, although a bit on the smaller side. You’re about 12 weeks along.”

Roger’s eyes grew wide. He was already 12 weeks along? How had he not noticed earlier? And why the hell wasn’t his bump bigger than this, like it had been with his previous pregnancies. Thousands of questions crossed Roger’s mind at once.

“But there’s barely a bump and I didn’t experience any of the symptoms I used to have during the first trimester until a few weeks ago. Shouldn’t they almost be over by now?”

Dr. Clarke gave him a reassuring smile. “Not all pregnancies are the same. In rare cases people don’t even notice they’re pregnant until they’re in labor.” She explained. “I wouldn’t worry about it for now, just make sure that you eat enough and that you eat healthy. As for your symptoms, I guess you’ll have to wait and see if they become less apparent.”

Roger nodded, though if he had to be honest, he hadn’t really listened to the doctor, Brian would do that anyway. He was 12 weeks along and he wouldn’t even have thought of the possibility of a pregnancy if it weren’t for John and his kids and he wouldn’t have noticed the slight swell of his stomach if it weren’t for Brian. It was his body. He should have been the first to notice all these things.

As he cleaned the gel from his stomach with the paper towel Dr. Clarke had given him, he deliberately stayed quiet, not really wanting to vent with the doctor still around. Not even Brian’s reassuring smile helped.

They kindly thanked the doctor and promised they’d let her know how the pregnancy progressed. As soon as Roger was sure she wouldn’t be able to see or hear him anymore, Roger slumped against his boyfriend, who instantly stopped walking to hold the younger man. “12 weeks and you can barely see anything. I told you I was getting fat.” He complained.

“Doctor Clarke said the baby was on the smaller side, that’s probably why it isn't as noticeable as it was the other times.”

“Didn’t look that small on the monitor.”

“Well, you're not that small anyway.” Brian said, placing both of his hands on Roger’s slightly swollen abdomen and kissed the blonde’s forehead, never having stopped smiling. “Either way, this means our baby made it through the first trimester. That’s great news, right?” He asked, since that was what Roger had seemingly been so worried about.

Roger can’t help but agree, but he still didn’t feel as elated as Brian that he made it through the riskiest part of his pregnancy. Being over 40 years old, pregnancy was a risk on itself, for both him and the baby. He just didn’t understand that Brian didn’t see that too. Or maybe he just didn’t want to see it. One of them had to remain optimistic after all.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud growling sound coming from his stomach. Brian seemed to be amused by it, but Roger himself took a quick peek around the hallway to check if no one had witnessed that. Luckily, there was no one to be seen.

“Don’t worry little one, we’re going to get some food into your papa.” The feeling of Brian’s thumbs running circles on his stomach to accompany his words was comforting. If it were humanly possible to melt, Roger would have been a puddle on the floor by now thanks to the gentle way in which Brian handled his boyfriend and his unborn child. “Fancy going out for a bite or do you want to go home?”

“If we eat out, will you buy me a muffin?”

“Of course.”

* * *

“I’m fine John, it was just the flu, like I said. It was just a bit more stubborn than I thought.” Brian heard Roger tell their friend over the phone when they had gotten home later that morning. He hadn’t expected Roger to shout from the rooftops that he was pregnant, but John was one of their closest friends and Roger knew that Brian wouldn’t have gotten mad if he had told John.

“Yeah sure, no problem.” It was silent for a minute while and Brian could faintly hear John’s voice from the other side of the line, but he couldn’t make out what their youngest band member was saying. “No Deaky, it’s not inconvenient. Sure. Alright, see you tomorrow then.” With those words, Roger hung up.

Ever since he had seen Roger struggling while filming their last music video, John had been calling him on an almost daily basis to check up on him and ask whether he had gone to the doctor yet. After Roger had reassured him, yet again, by lying that he had just managed to catch the flu and that he was alright, Deaky had hesitatingly asked him if it was alright if he came by tomorrow. Since John’s voice was shaking a little, Roger knew better than to ask why and had told him that it was fine for him to stop by.

While his boyfriend was on the phone with John, Brian stood leaning against the doorway, waiting for Roger to turn around and see him. When he did, the younger man gasped loudly. “Can you please never do that again?”

Brian ignored his question. “The flu?”

“He’s in the middle of a divorce and his best friend is dying, he doesn’t need me to rub our happy news in his face.” The blonde defended himself. It seemed quite unfair that even in a time as awful as it was now, with Freddie’s health deteriorating quickly, he and Brian at least had something to be happy about. But what John got was a divorce. An amicable one, but still a divorce.

“We're going to have to tell him eventually. He’ll be pissed if we suddenly turn up with a baby at some point.” Brian reasoned. And Roger knew he was right, he just didn’t want to hurt John. Between his divorce and Freddie, there was also so much going on for John. Roger was sure his friend didn’t really need this right now.

“I actually think it might cheer him up. Something positive happening amidst all of this.” Brian reasoned. Deaky was just too sweet to resent them this little light in the dark tunnel that was their lives right now. He would be nothing but happy for them, even if joy was a stark contrast to his own life at the moment.

“Let’s just wait a little bit longer, okay?” Roger suggested. “We’ll tell him soon, just not tomorrow.”

Brian took his boyfriend in his arms and pulled him close, hugging him while his hands, again, made its way to its favourite spot: the very slightly protruding form of Roger’s belly. “Alright, whenever you feel ready.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Roger said, they have a very active sex life. 
> 
> I'm not gonna make any promises I'm not going to keep this time, but I will definitely update as soon as I can!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deaky comes over to ask Brian and Roger a favor (and the bassist is a lot smarter than Roger took him for).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said I wouldn't make promises about when I would update, I didn't intend for it to take this long. Sadly, university didn't really cooperate. That, and I downloaded the Sims 4 this week. Within an hour I had Roger and Brian become a couple, expecting a baby (or two actually, I didn't know you could get twins) and engaged. Right now they have three kids plus a fourth on the way. They spend all day snogging while Freddie and John take care of the kids.
> 
> What I'm trying to say is, this could've been up last week if that damn game weren't so addictive.
> 
> Now let's skip to my other fictional Maylor babies.

If Roger thought that after his nausea-less Monday, the nausea would be gone completely, he was in for an unpleasant surprise. It was well past noon and he found himself bent over the toilet yet again. Brian was softly rubbing his back, which at least offered him some comfort, but the whole experience remained distasteful.

“They call it morning sickness, but it lasts all fucking day!” The blonde complained as he tried to stand up, which proved more difficult than he thought as his legs felt like they were made of jelly. The tears that had formed in the corners of his eyes were wiped away angrily.

It was now less than fifteen minutes before the time they had agreed on with John for him to come over and Roger hadn’t been able to stop throwing up. It was nothing John hadn’t seen before, may that have been the result of pregnancy or a night out, but Roger wasn’t ready to tell him or have him figure it out yet.

“Calm down, love. Getting angry doesn’t make it go away.” Brian said, handing Roger his toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste.

The blonde shot him a deadly look. “You’re not the one on their knees hanging over a toilet every day, are you? I can complain as much as I want. This is the eighth fucking time you’ve done this to me!” He angrily took the items Brian was holding out for him and went to brush his teeth, occasionally glaring at Brian in the mirror.

“If you keep smirking like that, I will kick you.” Roger threatened, only half-audible because of the toothpaste in his mouth, only causing Brian to watch him with an even fonder smile and laughing when the blonde tried to kick him and missed.

Luckily, when John arrived Roger’s stomach had settled a little and a few cuddles from Brian had made the blonde forgive his boyfriend. He greeted John with a hug. They didn’t see each other nearly as much as they used to, now that they had stopped recording for the time being and without having to tour or film music videos. Brian followed Roger’s example and also greeted John with a warm hug.

Having arrived in the living room, Brian sat down next to Roger on the couch, meanwhile John sat down on the chair opposite it. As Brian and Roger had no idea what John wanted to discuss with them and John, in turn, didn’t know how to start the conversation, it was awkwardly silent.

“Tea?” Brian asked eventually. He wasn’t sure whether he had asked out of politeness or to escape the uncomfortable situation, but he couldn’t deny that he was happy to get out of the room for a moment, no matter how immature it seemed.

“Sure, thanks.” John said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Brian didn’t notice, being half on his way to the kitchen already, but Roger was observative enough to see it.

“Are you alright?” He asked, with clear concern for his friend. It was probably a stupid question, considering the situation the other man was in, but Roger wanted John to know that he cared and that he was there to talk.

“I’m fine.” The other answered. They both knew it was a lie. He was getting divorced from the woman he had always believed to be the love of his life, meanwhile he also had to watch his best friend, who had always been a source of support and positivity, slowly fade away.

“John…” Roger began, but he didn’t really know what to say to the bassist. To say it would all be fine was a lie, but to confirm that everything around him came tumbling down would do nothing to improve his mood either.

John, however, was also concerned about Roger. He was pretty sure flus weren’t supposed to last as long as Roger’s had. “I really am,” he tried to reassure him again, “and shouldn’t I be asking you that? You were sick.”

“I was, yes.” Not a complete lie, but not entirely true either. One the one side Roger wanted nothing more than to tell John about his pregnancy, to share both his excitement and his worries with the younger man. But like he had told Brian the day before, he did not feel like rubbing their happy news in his face. So instead, he decided to confront John about his disheveled appearance.

“But you, excuse me for saying this, look awful. Did you sleep at all last night?”

John chuckled, the sound anything but happy. “Not really. I couldn’t sleep and I ended up being up thinking all night.” He admitted. He'd had one of the worst nights of his life, having slept maybe half an hour in total. He was still incredibly tired and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed, yet he knew that he wouldn’t fall asleep anyway and instead would be overcome with all kinds of thoughts racing through his mind, like the previous night.

“About what?” Roger asked before he even realized the words had left his mouth. It really wasn’t any of his business, but he couldn’t help but be curious. He regretted asking it when he saw a tear glistening in the corner of John's eye and he immediately knew what the answer would be.

“Fred, mostly…” John said, his voice unsteady. Roger gestured for John to come sit beside him on the couch.

“Come here.”

John didn’t hesitate and as soon as Roger had protectively wrapped his arm around him, the silent tears turned into broken sobs. Roger let him cry until John moved away himself, at the same moment as Brian came back from the kitchen, carrying a tray with three steaming cups of tea.

“Here Deaks.” He placed the cup on the coffee table in front of the couch before moving to sit in the chair John had previously occupied, trying to make eye contact with Roger who simply gave him a sad smile, which was enough for Brian to understand what was going on.

“Thanks.” John mumbled after a while, though it was not clear whether he said it to Brian for the cup of tea or to Roger for having held him while he cried. The latter shot his boyfriend a look and nodded his head in John’s direction, as if to encourage Brian to ask John why exactly he wanted to come by.

“Deaky,” he started, heart breaking when he saw their youngest band member looking up at him with glassy eyes, “not that we don’t appreciate your company, because we do, but why did you want to talk to us?”

John shrugged, still unsure of how to start this conversation. “It’s um… Kind of a difficult situation at home, with the divorce and the kids and I’m expected to move out soon.”

Roger opened his mouth to say something but John was quicker. “Don’t worry, we made the decision that I would move out together.” The drummer nodded and gestured for John to continue.

“And I feel like everything’s in ruins, if that makes sense. With the divorce, the kids and Freddie.” He looked down, as if scared to look them in the eyes while asking the question he’d been meaning to ask.

“I’d just rather not be alone right now,” he admitted, looking up at Brian and glancing sideways at Roger, “So, I was wondering if I could maybe stay here for a little while.”

Roger and Brian shared a quick look to check if the other was okay with it, although they already knew the both of them were more than happy to take John in for a while, rather than make him go through it on his own. John, however, mistook the glances the other two gave each other for a sign of hesitation.

“I know this is a big thing to ask, but it’ll be for just a few days, then I’ll find a hotel or something and I’ll keep looking for a place of my own.” He added quickly. He didn’t want to be a burden on the couple, they already had such a busy life with all of their kids.

Roger grabbed John’s hand while Brian leaned forward and put his hand on the bassist’s shoulder. “Deaky, you can stay as long as you want to.” He reassured him.

John let out a sigh that was a combination of relief and gratitude. When he assured them that he wouldn’t be a bother, would make sure none of his stuff got in the way and especially when he dared suggest he’d sleep on the couch he was currently sitting on, Brian was quick to tell him not to worry about any of those things.

“We’re not letting you sleep on a couch.” He exclaimed. He had first-hand experience of how uncomfortable it could be to spend a whole night on that couch, let alone several. “We still have that guest room; you can sleep there.” The guest room that they needed to turn into a nursery within half a year.

“Thank you.”

There was still something that bothered Roger. “Deaky, please don’t take this the wrong way cause you’re always welcome here, but why haven’t you asked Freddie if you could move in with him? I’m sure he’d love to have you there.”

John hesitated for a moment and Roger could swear he saw tears glistening in the other’s eyes again, so he gave John’s hand, which he was still holding, an encouraging squeeze. “I just don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing him get sicker and sicker.”

Roger nodded in understanding. Even though he was convinced that spending time together would do both Deaky and Freddie well, he could see why the bassist didn’t want to be with him every day. They had always been such great friends; Freddie had taken John under his wing from the beginning and the two had always formed a great counterbalance for him and Brian. Seeing someone you’ve spent so much time with and that you love so much wither did not sound like an enjoyable experience.

“I get it. Just know that you’re probably just as welcome at his place as you are here.”

* * *

John had eventually ended up staying all day. After the conversation had gotten past the initial awkwardness, they had ended up talking about a million different things ranging from that one time they found Freddie eating cereal in his underwear to Brian’s heartfelt story about the badger he had found in their backyard not that long ago. (“We need to do more to save badgers!”)

When the kids had come home one by one, they were more than happy about John’s presence too. Having Uncle John or Uncle Freddie over often meant getting to hear embarrassing stories about things their dad and papa (or well, mostly their papa) had done in the past.

“And then he sprayed that hairspray right in your dad’s face.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Alexis asked, looking a little worried, but mostly very confused. He wondered how his parents were still together, seeing as most stories John and Freddie told them involved some kind of fight or argument.

“It’s certainly not healthy.” Brian answered, glaring at his boyfriend, who really did not want to discuss this. He snorted, a scowl on his face and crossed his arms in front of his chest as an expression of annoyance.

“Well, you were being an ars-“ “Language!” Brian interrupted the blonde. He wasn’t sure why he even tried to stop Roger from cursing anymore, as the kids had, unfortunately, picked up on it years ago.

“Sorry _mom._ ” The blonde muttered mockingly.

By the time they were having dinner, Brian and Roger had stopped bickering, although that might or might not have had something to do with the fact that Brian had made Roger’s favourite , for which he was thanked with a series of kisses all over his face, much to the kids’ dismay and John’s amusement. After twenty years of knowing them, he was very much used to their public displays of affection and much more than that.

Later, when the kids had gone to bed, as they had to get up early in the morning to go to school and university, Brian got out a bottle of wine.

John found it odd that Roger hadn’t even touched the bottle of wine that was stood on the table. The drummer was usually the first to down a glass. Or several.

Roger had noticed John kept throwing glances at him, in an almost judgmental way. He quickly checked his shirt for any stains John could be judging him for but found none. Brian was happily chatting away, not even noticing John looking away every now and then.

When he saw John looking his way yet again, Roger got slightly fed up with it and interrupted his boyfriend with an annoyed “what’s up?”

The younger man got straight to the point. “Rog, I’m not stupid. First you were sick, now you don’t drink alcohol. I’ve known you long enough to have figured out what’s going on.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I won’t break if you tell me, you know. That things aren’t going all that great for me doesn’t mean I can’t handle this news. If anything, I’m happy for you two.” John assured him, reaching out to cover Roger’s hand with his own. And he meant it. Although he was slightly jealous, he could never be bitter about something like this; he wouldn’t want to deny his friends their happiness.

Brian couldn’t help but speak up smugly. “I told you he would be.”

Apart from flipping him off without looking at him, Roger ignored the older man and focused on John, looking incredulous. “Are you serious?”

John shot Brian a confused look but the guitarist just shrugged; he had no idea what Roger was so agitated about either. “What?”

“First Brian figures out by himself and now you?”

“Well, it was kind of obvious.” John had to admit. He had already been a little suspicious when Roger had gotten sick during the filming of the music video, but now that he saw him completely ignoring the bottle of alcohol standing right in front of him on the table, his suspicions were confirmed.

That Brian had, apparently, found out by himself too didn’t surprise him either. The man knew Roger better than Roger knew himself. Inside and outside.

That was yet another thing John was slightly jealous of. Sure, Veronica and him had always had a very close and intimate relationship, but there were times where he envied Roger and Brian’s relationship and the fact that they could always be together, at home and on tour. Especially before he had met Veronica, he had longed for a relationship like that; he had even hoped that he would have a chance at this kind of life with Freddie, but it probably wasn’t meant to be.

Having been so preoccupied by his own thought, John had barely noticed that Roger wasn’t sitting where he had previously been sitting anymore. He had moved to Brian’s lap, where the two were busy whispering what John suspected to be very naughty things in each other’s ears.

He coughed subtly to get their attention but they either ignored him or simply hadn’t heard him. When he coughed again, harder this time, Brian looked up, excusing himself. Roger, however, paid no attention to the fact that they were not alone; Brian had to physically push him away.

“Sorry, we were… erm…” Brian started to say, but he was quickly cut off by the blonde.

“Horny.” Roger said as-a-matter-of-factly. Had John not been used to this behavior, he would have been amused by the blush appearing on a very flustered Brian’s cheeks. He honestly couldn’t tell if this was because of the hormones or that it was just normal Roger.

John grinned and began to stand up. “I guess it’s time for me to go then?”

“Are you not staying tonight yet?” Roger asked a little disappointed. Over the course of the evening he had gotten really excited about the prospect of John staying with them for a while.

John shook his head. “I didn’t bring anything other than my wallet, so it’s not very practical.”

“You can borrow some of our pajamas. We might even have a new toothbrush for you, we always have a small stock for the kids.” Roger tried to convince him.

Brian nodded, “yeah, the same for bed linen. You have no excuse not to stay,” he added before John could protest any further. Unless John really didn’t want to stay the night, he saw no reason why he couldn't. 

John hesitated for a moment but gave in anyway. “Alright. Let me just ring Ronnie to let her know.”

* * *

“Do you have to be so blatant about everything?” Brian scolded his boyfriend as they got into bed. He didn’t appreciate his sex life being talked about so openly and casually, but unfortunately, Roger was the exact opposite.

The blonde shrugged. “Don’t have to, but I was just being honest.” He tried to move closer to his boyfriend, but the older man held a hand against his chest to stop him, much to Roger’s dismay.

“We had sex this morning.” Brian explained, although he knew it was a weak excuse. There had been times, not that long ago, where they had more sex in one day that most couples have in a week.

Judging by the look on Roger’s face, he wasn’t impressed. “And since when can’t we have sex twice a day? Have we become so old already?”

“But now the kids are all at home.”

“They won’t notice.”

Brian snorted, amused that Roger really seemed to believe that. “They won’t notice? Do you even know how loud you can be? Or should we ask John about that?”

Roger didn’t answer but instead slid his hands down the front of Brian’s pajama pants, nearly making the man jump. For someone who was refusing to have sex, he was quite aroused.

And when five minutes later he was fucking Roger into the mattress, hand covering his lover’s mouth to prevent the other people in the house from being woken up by his moans, Brian's protests had been long forgotten.

Somehow Roger always managed to get his way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there’s a reason for this seemingly ‘random’ subplot of John temporarily moving in with them.  
> Does it include angsty Roger? It sure does.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger help John move into their home and Roger is already annoyed by their over-concern. Luckily, he can always count on Freddie to side with him on things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I responded to a comment saying this would be up tomorrow or the day after and it's probably been a week since then and a century since the last update. Luckily, I'm kind of back on track with all of my fics, so I can finally post this chapter. Just a warning: Fred appears and he's a minx.

“Let me carry that.” John quickly ran over to Roger when he saw the blond lift the last of his three bags from the trunk. He tried to take it from the older man, who refused to let go of the handgrip.

“Jesus, I can still carry a suitcase, Deacon!” He complained, huffing when John managed to take it from him. He crossed his arms across his chest and tried his best to look angry, although it failed to impress John.

“You can, but why should you? It’s mine.” The bassist shrugged as he made his way towards the house, where Brian was waiting on the doorstep, an amused grin on his face. Roger purposefully ignored his grinning boyfriend and followed John.

“The one time I try to be nice.” He muttered under his breath.

It was bad enough to have Brian coddle him like that, he really didn’t need John to do the same. He’d almost started to regret his enthusiasm when agreeing to John moving in with them. Almost.

Although he would never admit it to John, due to the reason he was going to live with them for a while, he was glad the bassist would be there more than usual. In a way, it felt nostalgic; it reminded him of the time when money was still tight and the whole band lived together to be able to save up a little. He had honestly been a little surprised when John agreed on moving in with them back then, given the fact that Nova was just starting to learn how to walk and talk and he was nearing his third trimester with James. Many people wouldn’t have wanted to deal with all of that but John did and he had been a great help; often volunteering to play with Nova, feed her and babysit when he insisted Brian and Roger needed some alone time.

All in all, Roger was happy, but he could do without the unnecessary worries.

“Are you going to treat me like this whole time?” The blond huffed. He was very well aware of the fact that, being pregnant, he was supposed to take it slow and be a little more careful than usual. However, he was perfectly capable of carrying a dam suitcase.

“Like what?”

Roger sighed. “Like I’m physically incompetent of doing anything at all. I’m not even showing yet, for God’s sake!”

“You kind of are. A little bit.” Brian said with a shrug.

Roger shot his boyfriend a deadly glare and stormed further into the house. Brian and John shared a smile at the man’s temperament and followed him back inside where they found him in the kitchen making tea, only for himself, because the other two didn’t deserve it. He purposefully ignored them when they passed him on their way to the living room.

Even when he had sat down to drink said tea, he made sure not to engage in the conversation the other two were having. Not that he was particularly interested anyway; they were talking about some scientific development that the blond man couldn’t care less about. He was already looking forward to their visit to Freddie so he’d have someone to gossip with while the other two discussed their nerdy stuff.

Brian and him had decided not to tell John about their visit in advance. John had been avoiding going to Freddie’s house for weeks now, but now he wouldn’t be able to come up with an excuse not to come along anymore. Most importantly though, Freddie needed John now more than ever.

As Roger stood up after a while to take his cup back to the kitchen, he felt himself become a bit lightheaded, stumbling back due to the unsteadiness of his feet. For a moment, he felt like he was going to faint, but two pairs of hands kept him upright and tried to lead him back to the couch.

“Are you alright?” Brian asked, eyes big with worry and hands holding Roger’s shoulder to keep him upright and stable, much to the Roger’s annoyance. Maybe if he ignored what had just happened, Brian wouldn’t end up hovering over him for the next six months.

“Jesus, I just got little dizzy, nothing to worry about!” Roger shrugged the guitarist’s hands off of his shoulders, trying his best to hide the fact he was still feeling quite lightheaded. If he’d admit he was dizzy, Brian would certainly never stop fussing over him.

“I’ve known you for over 20 years, love. I’ve learned that where you are involved, there is always something to worry about.” Brian grinned, John quickly following suit. Roger was visibly less amused and was quick to make that clear.

“Fuck you!” Roger snarled at the other men, though Brian could swear he saw a little smile creep onto his face. After all, the drummer couldn’t exactly deny that it was true. Even though he was now a responsible parent, he was still a child at heart; wild, stubborn and carefree.

Brian found it endearing that his boyfriend had such a young spirit. Brian was often worried sick whenever Roger and Freddie had come up with some plan or another, but the joy on the blond man’s face afterwards easily made up for it.

“You two are ridiculous, you know that?” John commented, rolling his eyes at his friends.

“Your face is ridiculous.” Roger shot back, sticking out his tongue. John couldn’t help but shake his head at the blond. He could be absolutely ridiculous, his temper battling that of some of his children, but he was a great friend and he was thankful for how much he had helped him already.

They had started moving John’s stuff out of his home quite early in the morning, to avoid making the kids witness it. The divorce and their father leaving the family home was already difficult enough, the bassist didn’t feel like confronting them with it more than necessary.

“I think I’m just going to sleep for the rest of the day.” The youngest of the three yawned. The whole situation combined with moving out so early in the morning made him feel absolutely exhausted. He was sure that if he’d lay down in bed now, he’d be fast asleep in less than five minutes.

“Actually, we’re visiting Fred this afternoon. Not that he gives a shit about us, he just wants to see the kids again, but we were wondering if you’d like to come along.” Roger knew that John would be hesitant; something that immediately showed on his face.

“We’d understand if you didn’t want to, but I think it’d do him good to see you again.” Brian added. Roger almost snorted; if Brian and John thought he’d take no for an answer, they were very wrong.

John thoughtfully stared at the floor for a while, knowing that he’d have to face Freddie again someday; if he didn’t, he’d definitely end up regretting not having spent more time with him. Still, Freddie was expecting Roger, Brian and their kids; not him. It felt a bit intrusive in a way, despite the fact that it had been Brian and Roger asking him instead of the other way around.

“He’s expecting you guys, maybe he won’t wat me there.” The bassist shrugged.

Roger raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Please explain to me why in the name of God Fred would not enjoy your company? He’s your best friend!”

John sighed, trying to ignore the worried look Brian gave him. Roger was right; Freddie was his best friend and exactly that was part of the problem. If it were up to John, they’d been more than just friends; at one point he’d even suspected Freddie felt the same about him. However, he had never dared to do anything about it and Freddie hadn’t made a move either, causing John to conclude that the other man wasn’t interested in him. Luckily, he had met Veronica and they’d had over fifteen beautiful years together.

Ironically, his feelings for Freddie returning was part of the reason they decided to split, although amicably. John wondered what he’d ever done to cause these feelings to return now that Freddie most likely didn’t have long anymore. Or maybe it was because of that; all the thoughts of what could have been and how different their lives would have been right now.

Realising that it was better to face the older man sooner rater than later (and that Roger would not accept a ‘no’), John gave in. “Alright, I’ll come along.”

* * *

Although Garden Lodge was incredibly big, which was not really his thing, it had always felt like some kind of second home to John. However, this time he felt oddly out of place. Not only was it quieter than he’d ever heard it before, he also felt unwanted. Freddie was expecting Roger, Brian and the kids; not him.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t in contact with Freddie regularly; they called each other almost daily, but he still felt like he shouldn’t have come along uninvited. Additionally, he was afraid of seeing Freddie again. He was very much aware of what the illness was doing to him physically and mentally, but the prospect of seeing his once so lively friend be reduced to a weaker, fragile version of his strong, energetic self was killing John.

But he was here now and there was no way out as long as Roger was there, giving him one of those looks that was both judgmental and oddly reassuring.

When they had made their way to the living room, where Freddie was casually resting on the couch, propped up on some pillows, he was the first to be addressed by the older man. A wide smile formed on his face when he laid eyes on the bassist.

“Deaky, darling! No one told me you were coming too!” Freddie exclaimed as soon as he saw him. He tried to stand up and eventually succeeded, although it cost him a lot of energy. John soon felt himself be enveloped in a hug by his friend. As he melted into the hug, the place suddenly did feel like a second home again.

After Freddie let go of him a few seconds later, the frontman turned his attention to the kids, who were all eagerly waiting for their hugs. John noticed Roger wink at him, as if to say _told you, nothing to worry about_.

“I see you’ve brought the loves of my life.” The kids were quick to crowd around the singer, involving him in a group hug and telling him how much they had missed him.

“I thought your cats were the loves of your life?” Roger said sarcastically, raising an amused eyebrow at his friend, who pretended to have been unaware of his presence.

“Oh, you and Bri are here too. Hadn’t noticed.”

Roger flipped his friend off, although with a smile, and wrapped his arms around him too, laughing when the older man told him he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

When, a little later, they had all settled and Phoenix was busy telling Freddie all about an incident at school where one of the boys had cut off a piece of a girl’s hair, Roger leaned into his boyfriend, making sure that what he was saying wasn’t audible for the others.

“Can we tell them?”

Brian didn’t need to ask what it was about. He did seem surprised however, given the fact that just days ago, Roger had been determined to keep it from the kids for a while, despite officially being in his second trimester. If he really wanted to, the guitarist obviously wasn’t going to stop him, but he was curious about where the sudden change of heart had come from.

“I thought you wanted to wait?” He asked.

“I did,” the blond admitted, biting his lip, “but everyone’s here now...” He trailed off as his eyes scanned the room, finally resting on the lack of space between Freddie and John as they listened to Phoenix tell his story.

Brian gave him a questioning look. To be fair, Roger himself wasn’t completely sure why he had suddenly had changed his mind either. Maybe it was because he hated not telling his children about their new sibling despite having insisted on postponing telling them or maybe it was the fact that he was currently surrounded by the people who meant the most to him. It just felt right.

Roger shrugged. “It just feels like the right moment.”

Brian’s lips quirked into a smile as he gave his boyfriend a reassuring nod, gesturing him to go ahead. “Alright, let’s tell them.”

“You know, it’s rude to whisper in public.” They heard Freddie’s voice from the direction of the couch. They both looked up to see Freddie’s raised eyebrows and John’s knowing smirk; the bassist knew exactly what the conversation was about.

Roger looked at Brian as if he needed confirmation, which the older man gave him in the form of a nod, accompanied by a smile. The kids seemed confused as to what their parents seemed so secretive about.

“I… We have something to um…” Roger hesitated for a moment but continued when he felt Brian’s hand on his shoulder. “We have something to tell you.”

If anything, this confused the kids even more, judging by their facial expressions which ranged from worried to impatient. He and Brian had had this conversation with their kids before, but this time it was different, as almost all of them where at an age where they understood how babies were made. Roger wasn’t worried that they would judge them, but he could only hope that it wouldn’t weird them out.

The drummer shared another quick look with Brian before taking a deep breath and smiling cheekily at the sight of the curious faces.

“I’m pregnant.”

Apart from a giggle coming from Benjamin, it was completely silent for a moment.

“As in, with a baby?” Gabriel asked, earning himself a shove from Alexis. “Of course with a baby! What else would it be, a cow?”

Just like that, the ice had been broken and everyone started happily chatting as they congratulated the couple one by one. Despite seeming surprised initially, they all looked very happy about the news.

Brian couldn’t tell which of their kids was the most excited, but in the end, it would be a close battle between Nova and Phoenix. Their daughter was delighted to hear she would have another sibling and seeing her dads beaming while talking about the pregnancy made her even happier. Their youngest son was especially enthusiastic as this meant he would become a big brother for the first time; he was quite excited to not be the youngest anymore now.

Although his kids´ reaction naturally mattered a lot to Brian, seeing Freddie light up at the sound of the news was amazing as well. The older man didn’t seem to feel as down about his condition as his fellow band members. Obviously, he did not want to die; the prospect of dying scared him and there was still so much he wanted to do, see and feel, but he decided to make the best out of the time he still had. However, Brian knew that there were moments when everything became too much and the realisation of what was happening would sink in all over again. Seeing that sparkle that had long disappeared return to Freddie’s eyes meant a lot to Brian.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of one of his sons speaking up rather loudly. That was without a doubt something he had inherited from Roger.

“Wait, this means you still have sex?” James asked, sharing an awkward side-glance with Charlie. Seeing their parents kiss or be affectionate in general was one thing, but knowing they were still sexually active as well was a whole different thought to process.

Unfortunately for the boys, Roger had no problems talking about his and Brian´s sex life. In fact, he quite liked it.

“Quite regularly.” The blond shrugged, leaning back as his eyes met Freddie´s. He had seen that look before and the grin that appeared was enough to confirm Roger´s suspicion; Freddie was going to embarrass the kids even more.

“Must be when you’re not at home then, darling,  cause with how loud your papa is, there’s no way-“ The singer didn’t manage to finish the sentence as it was cut off with a loud “Stop it, uncle Fred! We get it!”

Roger, unfortunately for his children, failed to see the problem. “What’s so bad about sex? It’s a sign of a healthy marriage Your dad and I love each other very much and the sex is just-“ “PAPA! Really, stop!”

“What? We always make sure you don’t see and hear us; in fact, not too long ago, we-“

“Alright love, let’s stop there. You’ve traumatized them, I’m afraid.” Brian said as he laid a hand on his husband’s shoulder. The blond looked at him for a moment before sighing and giving in, mumbling something about his boyfriend being a kill-joy.

“Really though darling, you’re a bloody baby factory!” Freddie smirked. “Are you going for a whole football team?”

Of course, despite the joke, Freddie was very excited to become an unofficial uncle again; he loved his friends’ kids as if they were his own and if they would actually try to go for an entire football team of kids, he would be very supportive. Plus, something happy like this was just what he needed to keep his mind off of his illness; it already controlled his body and he was determined to avoid it from controlling his mind too.

“He has a point; you’re about the most fertile person I know.” John nodded, exchanging a look with the singer who smiled at him, making John beam back at him.

Roger grinned, blushing slightly and buried his face in his husband’s chest to hide it. He couldn’t deny that it was true; he always managed to conceive within a month or two of trying (and sometimes even without trying, as was the case with his first and current pregnancies).

“Or maybe my boyfriend just fucks me really well.” Roger muttered in the fabric of the other man’s shirt, completely forgetting his boyfriend had just told him off for talking about their sex life. Evidently, Freddie had forgotten too. “He obviously does.” The singer grinned, gesturing to the kids who, with the exception of Phoenix, all looked either embarrassed or annoyed.

James seemed to be fed up the most, judging by the look on his face. “If you mention any more sex-related things that are going on between the two of you, I will cry.”

The blond drummer took this as a challenge and raised an eyebrow at his oldest son. “Did you know your dad loves it when I wear a skirt for him?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course, marriages without sex can definitely be healthy and marriages with sex can be unhealthy but Rog just wants to prove he and Bri are still going strong; and of course Freddie can't help but encourage him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a heart-to-heart with Roger and makes some confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, it's been so long since the last update that I wouldn't blame you if you forgot this existed.
> 
> Also, somehow this chapter took a really sad turn halfway in, which I didn't originally plan on.

It didn’t take John long to settle in with the family; Roger and Brian always made sure he felt at home and the kids absolutely loved him. On the third night after he had moved in, Phoenix had even come to him to ask if he could read to him before he went to bed (which made Roger and Brian raise an eyebrow, as Phoenix hadn’t asked them that in years, insisting he was "too grown up for that now").

Much to Roger’s annoyance, it also hadn’t taken John very long to become Brian 2.0 in terms of being overprotective. No matter what the blond did, one of the two was always hovering over him; asking him if he’d eaten enough, whether he still got dizzy or whether the baby was causing him any discomfort yet. It drove him absolutely insane. To make matters worse, it was starting to rub off on his oldest kids too.

Luckily, he didn’t have the two men on his back all the time; whenever he was calmly sitting or lying down (or basically just not doing anything at all) they would get off his back.

Roger found himself sitting in the garden with John. The May weather was honestly perfect; not too cold and not too hot. The blonde’s hands were casually resting on the tiny bump, something that made John let out an ‘aw’.

The drummer had tried to glare at the other man but John’s gentle expression made it hard to. Eventually, he decided that flipping the bassist off was satisfying enough and settled his hands on his stomach again.

“How does it feel?” John asked, eyes still fixated on the tiny bump.

The question confused Roger for a moment. “I don’t feel much of anything other than nausea at the moment.” The blond grinned. Although it had toned down a bit compared to two weeks ago, he still spent a while on his knees in the bathroom every day.

John rolled his eyes. “I meant when the baby starts moving and kicking. Just… knowing that they’re in your body.”

Roger hummed, considering his answer for a moment.

“It’s odd. I mean, even after seven times I still find it weird that there’s an actual human in me. Like, Brian fucked me and now I‘m creating a whole new human with hair and nails and bones and everything! But it’s so lovely when they start moving. Well, unless they’re kicking the shit out of my bladder.”

The blond saw the other man nod understandingly but he didn’t laugh. His eyes seemed sad if anything. Suddenly, it dawned on Roger what this was about. “You would have liked to carry a baby too?”

John shrugged, but then nodded. His face was blank; Roger couldn’t tell how he was feeling right now. He had never even realized John had any desire to carry a child.

“I love my kids, of course, and I wouldn’t change them for anything…” the bassist paused for a moment, swallowing slowly, “I just wish I could understand what it’s like; I wish I had gotten to feel all the things Ronnie and you have felt.”

He envied Roger and Veronica. He didn’t want to feel that way, but every time he had seen one of them talking to their bump or giving it soft rubs whenever the baby kicked, he felt jealous for not being able to experience that too.

He had never dared to voice it to either of them, despite knowing they would be very understanding. There had been occasions where he almost told them, but they hadn’t done anything wrong and he didn’t want to burst their happy bubble by telling them that their bright smiles while feeling movement in their bellies upset him.

This time, however, he felt like he didn’t have to hold back. He had already more or less shown Roger his vulnerable side by asking if he could temporarily move in with him and Brian.  

The still very good relationship with Veronica, once again emphasized by the way he spoke of her so kindly, had Roger a bit puzzled. He hadn’t expected them to actually be fighting, but it didn’t seem like much had changed. John had a call with her earlier that day and by the sound of it, it had been a rather enjoyable conversation, judging by the way John had been laughing audibly. It made Roger happy to see that, despite their divorce, they were still on great terms. She would always remain one of his best friends.

However, he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that had caused them to break things off, considering things still seemed the same as always between them, minus the romance part.

“Tell me off if I’m getting too intrusive, but why did you split up? Was there just no spark anymore?”

“I moved in with you, if anything I’m the intrusive one. But yeah, that was one of the factors.”

Roger frowned. “There’s more?”

John bit his lip, unsure of whether he should confide in Roger. He trusted him of course; Roger was one of his best friends and he could tell him anything. He also knew that Roger wouldn’t judge him, he’d encourage him to do something about it even. Yet there was just some irrational part of his mind that told him maybe Roger wouldn’t approve of it.

“Remember when we all used to live together when Queen was just taking off?” John asked, not looking at Roger anymore but instead focusing on his hands that were lying in his lap.

Roger nodded, smiling at the memory. “I do, although I still don’t understand why you even agreed to move in with a loud toddler and hormonal me around.”

“Nova was adorable and you were also a delight when you wanted to be.”

Roger chuckled and playfully swatted at the bassist’s shoulder. He was a delight at all times, though everyone around him would disagree.

The younger man also smiled a little, though his face turned serious again when he continued talking.

“Well, back then I developed a bit of a crush on Fred.” He admitted, knowing full well how his friend would respond. It was no secret that, before John met Veronica, Roger had tried to subtly set his two friends up. To no avail, unfortunately.

As the bassist expected, Roger’s face completely lit up upon hearing the confession. He was also pretty sure that he saw a small hint of a mischievous smirk, although the drummer tried to hide it. He could almost hear the cogs in his head turning as the older man internally started to play matchmaker already.

When he saw the miserable expression on John’s face, however, he toned down his enthusiasm a bit.

“That man absolutely adored you. He still does, you know.” Roger gently took John’s hand in his and squeezed it. “You think I didn’t notice how you were all huddled up together when we visited him? My eyesight may be shit but I’m not blind, Deaky.” Roger teased, causing the younger man to blush slightly. He hadn’t known that it had been so obvious.

Sitting so close to Freddie, despite having done so numerous times in the past, had made him all fuzzy on the inside and seeing Freddie’s bright smile when Roger told them about the pregnancy had brightened up his entire day.

He had fallen _hard_.

_Again._

“Are you going to tell him?” The blond asked.

“Why would I? He doesn’t need that right now.” The younger man huffed; Freddie certainly had more important matters on his mind right now and John didn’t want to ruin their friendship now that Freddie was slowly but certainly nearing the end of his life.

It hurt Roger too see that John actually meant it; he truly thought he would be a burden on Freddie now that he was sick. He didn’t believe Roger when he assured him that his crush was requited.

“Deaky, I can guarantee you that that’s not true. You’d never be a bother to him.”

John seemed to consider it for a moment but didn’t respond until another wave of sobs spilled out of him.

“Why did I have to start feeling like this about him again now?” The bassist didn’t have to explain what he meant by ‘now’, as the tears escaping from his eyes made it more than clear already. Roger didn’t really know what to say, the situation was utterly unfortunate and there was nothing that could be done to change it. The blond wrapped his arms tightly around the younger man and rubbed his back, not even noticing how tears were starting to stain his shirt.

The blond couldn’t imagine being in such an awful situation. He suddenly felt incredibly lucky that him and Brian had hit it off almost immediately, with, although unplanned, a baby on the way within a year. He really couldn’t imagine a life without Brian and their kids in it.

It was heartbreaking to know that, unless someone found a cure for AIDS in the next few months, his friends would never be able to have that. However, the drummer was determined to make sure they could at least spend what time Freddie had left together. He knew for a fact that the singer still had feelings for their youngest band member.

The frontman had confided in Roger after the blond had caught him staring at John during the filming of I’m Going Slightly Mad. His face had been a picture of pain and sadness. He’d seen a few tears spill from his eyes as he expressed his regret of not telling him when he’d first started to fall in love with the bassist, because even if John didn’t return his feelings, he’d at least have tried.

Roger felt John’s hand grab the back of his t-shirt as sounds of crying turned into sobs. He let him, slightly more at ease knowing that Freddie’s feelings for John were requited. He knew he’d need to persuade one of the two to confess their feelings to the other, which wasn’t going to be easy.

“Sorry.” The younger man sniffled as he pulled back from Roger’s shoulder. He could spot two clear stains on Roger’s white shirt, courtesy of his tears. He messily wiped away the wetness on his cheeks.

“None of that! It’s better to let it all out than to keep it inside.”

John nodded, then chuckled softly. “How did this conversation go from babies to a love confession?”

“Because you would have liked to make babies with Fred?” The blond suggested, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively as the other man started blushing furiously.

“Rog!” John scolded the drummer, who was cackling at John’s shocked face. The younger man could feel his face heating up uncomfortably and he was pretty sure it had the color of a tomato by now.

The older man didn’t seem to see any harm in his comment. “What? Don’t tell me it isn’t true.”

John didn’t answer.

“I’m right, aren’t I? I’m always right!”

“I don’t know. M-maybe back before I met Ronnie I would’ve.” John stammered, not even knowing why he said that. It’s not like it was something he thought about on a daily basis; but about a year ago now, he had started imagining scenarios where he and Freddie were together; where they had a family of their own, just like Brian and Roger had. An alternate reality where Freddie had never gotten sick. It made him feel incredibly guilty though, as he never would’ve had any of his children, who he loved more than anything.  

Roger noticed that his friend was mentally beating himself up about. He had actually meant it as a joke but felt guilty when John had turned red and started stuttering.

“Hey,” he said, taking John’s hand in his again, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s just… I just confessed to a crush and now you have me talking about having babies with him.” He buried his face in his hands, a little embarrassed by how quickly the conversation had taken this turn.

Roger shrugged and let out a chuckle. “It’s the Taylor-effect.”

“I thought the Taylor-effect was getting knocked during pretty much every tour, not being able to go a year and a half without making a new baby.”

“Nah, that’s the May-effect.”

“To be fair, you let him.”

“Well…” Roger started, trying to quickly come up with a good comeback. “Um… You’re greying!”

“Piss off.”

John looked angry for half a second before a smile appeared at his face. It wasn’t like the usual bright Deaky smiles, but it was a start; at least he looked a little less down.

“And now, give me tummy rubs.” Roger whined dramatically, turning his body to the other man so he had easy access to his small bump.

“Don’t hover over me, I’m not even showing yet!” John mocked, voice a few octaves higher to imitate Roger.

Roger pouted, putting his puppy eyes on display; hoping they would work on John just as well as they did on Brian.

They didn’t.

The bassist rolled his eyes at his friend's attempt at charming him into doing what he wanted him to do. Brian may fall for it every time, but John wasn’t affected as easily. “Bri won’t mind?”

“Not if the alternative is me being all agitated and whiny.”

“Are you saying you’re not being whiny right now?”

“Fuck you, Deacon!”

* * *

“Has Roger been nice to you while I was gone?” Brian asked as he sat down with his friend and boyfriend in the garden. He tried to lean in to give Roger a kiss on the cheek but the blonde moved away, a little offended by the question.

“I beg your pardon? Deaky’s the bitch here.”

The younger man huffed. “Am I now? After everything I’ve done for you?”

Brian looked rather confused for a moment, completely clueless as to what they were talking about. Especially John looked annoyed, passive-aggressively glaring at the drummer.

“He gave me tummy rubs.” Roger said, smiling triumphantly. John could only roll his eyes at the blond.

“Did he do the eyes on you?” Brian raised a brow as he looked at John, wondering if he had also fallen for that irresistible look. The guitarist had been gone from the first time the drummer had used them on him. He couldn’t deny him anything anymore.

“He tried, but it didn’t work. I just felt bad for him.” The bassist shrugged; a wide grin plastered on his face.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Do you think I would’ve given you tummy rubs if you hadn’t been hanging over the toilet all morning?”

Roger opened his mouth to say make a biting remark, but Brian quickly intervened. “I might have to agree with Roger here, you really are a bitch.”

Roger grinned, wiggling his eyebrows again. “I bet Freddie likes that.”

The younger man’s eyes doubled in size. “ROG!”

“What? It’s not like Brian hasn’t noticed yet.” The blond held his hands up in defense. It was so obvious that even the kids had noticed the closeness between the two during their visit. Phoenix had even come to him afterwards, shyly asking whether uncle Freddie was going to come live with them too.

“You _are_ kind of obvious.” The guitarist admitted, ignoring the fact that John had become quite red and was probably ready to do anything to get away from this conversation.

The bassist was absolutely done with the other two; they even seemed amused by his embarrassment. With a huff he turned around and walked out, not granting his friends another word or look.

As soon as he was sure the younger man had left the room, Brian turned to Roger and gave him a stern look. “You’re not going to set them up.”

“But Bri-”

“No.”

The blond pouted, hoping it’d work better on his boyfriend than on John.

“No, Roger Taylor.” The guitarist warned.

“But then they’re never going to do anything about it and if Freddie-“ He paused for a second, still finding it hard to get the words out of his mouth, “if he passes away before John has told him, John will never be able to forgive himself. And I wouldn’t forgive myself for not trying harder to help them.”

“It’s not our place, love.” Brian tried to explain. Roger knew he was right but he also knew that neither of his friends felt confident enough to tell the other about their feelings.

“Can I at least give them subtle hints?”

“You? Subtle?”

The blond glared at the other man. “Fuck you.”

“Maybe tonight. Look, I want them to get together just as badly as you do, but it’s something that’s up to them, not to us.”

“But we have to encourage them or they’ll never do it.”

“Encourage them, yes. Not push them.” He didn’t have to explain any further; Roger knew he could be a bit too insistent about things sometimes.

“I just want them to be happy.” The drummer pouted.

“I know.”

“They deserve it.”

“I know. Come on, let’s run you a bath. I can feel how tense you are.” Brian smiled warmly, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend before leading him up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such a long wait and this is the shit you get? Unfortunately.
> 
> Like I said, I didn't even plan for it to take this turn and I wasn't sure whether I should just start over and not upload it, but I decided that it could be the basis for some good drama and angst in the future.


End file.
